Rabbi Abrams Blog

I had the pleasure of officiating the wedding of Sivan and Ram Malka.  They moved to Temecula during Covid and recently decided it was time to tie the knot and build a Jewish home. Mazal Tov Sivan & Ram! A Jewish wedding of locals is a big milestone for our community.   We had the honor of hosting a Sheva Brachos (post wedding celebration) for them. Sheva Brachos are actually the same blessings that are made under the Chuppah. For the week after the wedding, every time the bride and groom have a meal with a minyan, they can receive these blessings. It’s a beautiful way to start off their life together, being blessed by their family, friends and community.   There’s one rule though, that I didn’t really understand until last year. In order to recite all these blessings you need to have someone in attendance who was not at the wedding.  This is a way to increase the joy, by including more people. It always puzzled me.  Why is it so important to have a friend ...

This building project is reminding me of two kinds of reward. It is a principle of faith that we believe in “reward and punishment” (Ie, G-d will reward us for keeping the Torah, and punish us for transgressing). Why is the belief in reward so central to Judaism?  Aren’t we supposed to do what’s right because it’s right, not because of some stick and carrot game?  Is G-d like a manipulative parent, trying to bribe us into doing his bidding? One answer is that there are two kinds of reward: (1) Arbitrary reward-  I’ll pay you to work and you can do whatever you want with the money or I’ll buy you a bicycle if you clean your room or get a good report card-  The money or bicycle has no intrinsic connection to the work being done.  (2) Build a home with your hands- The reward is the direct result of your handiwork. Clean your room and you’ll have a clean room.  The reward is a direct result of the work. When G-d rewards us for keeping Torah, it’s not a bribe. ...

We are so proud of Shalom Ber.  He’s only three years old, but he is a very deep child.  It’s not surprising because he’s named after the fifth Chabad Rebbe (1860-1920).  I feel a special connection to him, because I’ve spent thousands of hours studying his teachings. Shalom Ber was a little bit late to start talking.  But we weren’t concerned for even a moment. We could tell that he was busy listening .  While we were doing construction on the temporary shul on the side of our house, he would come every morning, and watch them intently all day until the workers left.   Whenever I ask the boys, “who wants to practice reading with me?”  he’s the first one to grab his book and run to me.  This morning, after I vacuumed the mess from last night, he took all the parts out for cleaning. It’s the perfect time to increase his education and training as a Jew.   Upshernish is Yiddish for haircut, which at first seems kind of anticlimactic. Why make a...

  People say that the Rebbe can work miracles.  Is that true?  What did the Rebbe himself say about this? In the fall of 1959, a group of college students with the “Hillel” campus organization came for a group meeting with the Rebbe.  At a certain point, the floor was opened up for questions, and one student asked this very question: “Rebbe, people say that you can work miracles.  Is this true?” The Rebbe responded by asked the students what the word miracle means.  And he continue to explain:  The world has “nature” and “miracles”.  Nature is the way things happen naturally.  The world has “rules” and some of them are not so kind.  The strong survive and the weak perish.  Nature dictates that there are winners and losers, “live-ers” and “die-ers”. But a basic tenet of Judaism is that this physical world is the last of a series of many spiritual worlds.  And it’s like a puppet with strings attached from on top.  “Playing w...

  Gimmel Tammuz, which is the day the Rebbe passed away is a day of reflection and connection. I received a couple messages from people who were curious why I would fly across the country for less than 24 hours.  And then wait in line for hours to spend 30 seconds at a grave before being ushered out to let more people in. The Rebbe is alive.   So alive that even death can’t affect him. The Rebbe is not like other leaders who have passed away and left a “legacy”.  My Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Wagner was like that.  He was a special person, who gave a lot to the world, and left a tremendous legacy. Many effective leaders have done the same. The Rebbe is different. He is currently leading and guiding Chabad globally, and each individual Chossid specifically.   Who qualifies as a chossid? Anyone who accepts him as their “Rebbe”. The Rebbe is the “head” of the Jewish people, and we are the “feet” (or other body parts).   The head feels & controls the rest of ...

Q- What is the Rebbe's job? A- To feed us faith in G-d. (This was the Rebbe's answer to the question in the maamor ד"ה ואתה תצוה) Q- Why do I need to be fed faith in G-d?  I already believe in G-d!?  Is it not possible to serve G-d on my own without a Rebbe or a Moses? A- Our natural belief in G-d is subject to cognitive dissonance and mindless roteness. Here's what I mean: One example from the Talmud, that many thieves pray to G-d that their theft be successful.  But hold on, if they believe in G-d, why are they stealing?  Because of cognitive dissonance.  It's possible for a person to maintain two contradictory beliefs simultaneously: (1) belief in G-d (2) stealing is ok. On the flip side, it's possible for a completely religious and pious person to not believe in G-d.  Unfortunately, many religious communities have people who live completely religious lives but aren't sure if G-d exists, and if He does, they definitely don't have a meaningful relati...

Farewell Benny!  It’s been a wonderful year! After one full year as a medical resident in the Hemet hospital, Dr. Benny Ganjian will be continuing his journey to a rehab center (his specialty) in Syracuse, NY. People ask all the time, “are you an active synagogue?  Do you have services on Friday night?”  These days we’re only pushing for a minyan once a month, but a truly active community has services THREE TIMES A DAY EVERY DAY !   In vacation season, I get requests for daily minyans and sometimes we can hack it for a a few days in a row. I wish I could express the sense of community and friendship that our religion sets us up for. I see how lonely people are, minding their own business, spending lots of time on the tube, and not interacting with other people. Benny has given us a taste of what could be and what will be in Temecula some day with a thriving and truly active Jewish community.  He comes to the shul every morning and evening to pray and we’ve studi...