Showing posts from October, 2019

The Benefits of Fighting with Your Spouse

  Did anyone ever tell you not to fight with your spouse?  In my opinion, that's a strategy for sabotaging any marriage and for sure won't produce desired results.  In fact, I believe that fighting is the most valuable tool in achieving a real marriage.  It just has to be done right.  Here's what I mean:  What is the purpose of marriage?  To bear children? To derive pleasure?  To not be lonely?  As the bible says right in the beginning (this weeks Torah portion, Bereishis), the purpose of marriage is "and they will become one flesh."  Becoming one flesh, is not only physical.  It's means to become  one  in every sense of the word.  As the story of a chossid who came to the doctor with his injured wife and said, "our foot hurts."  It's a nice story, but how is it practically possible to become one with another person?  You're two different people!?  I think the answer is through fighting.  Okay, it's not really fighting, but working throug