Mazal Tov Sivan & Ram

I had the pleasure of officiating the wedding of Sivan and Ram Malka.  They moved to Temecula during Covid and recently decided it was time to tie the knot and build a Jewish home.

Mazal Tov Sivan & Ram!

A Jewish wedding of locals is a big milestone for our community.  

We had the honor of hosting a Sheva Brachos (post wedding celebration) for them.

Sheva Brachos are actually the same blessings that are made under the Chuppah.

For the week after the wedding, every time the bride and groom have a meal with a minyan, they can receive these blessings.

It’s a beautiful way to start off their life together, being blessed by their family, friends and community.  

There’s one rule though, that I didn’t really understand until last year.

In order to recite all these blessings you need to have someone in attendance who was not at the wedding.  This is a way to increase the joy, by including more people.

It always puzzled me.  Why is it so important to have a friend who missed the wedding? Doesn’t the fact that they weren’t there show that they’re not really a true friend?

Last year, when I was in NY, I heard that one of my friends from yeshiva had just gotten married the night before.  To put things in perspective, if a friend of mine got married at age 36, he was waiting and looking for 15 years to find the right match.  I can’t imagine how hard it was for him to see all his friends get married, build families, and move on with life.

I can’t say that I’m his best friend of his, and I don’t even have his phone number.  That’s explains why I didn’t know that he got engaged, much less married just the night before I arrived.  For such a big occasion of a classmate getting married after so many years, I would’ve made my flight for the night earlier.

I felt guilty that I knew nothing, and had a hard time wishing him a mazal tov out of embarrassment.  “I guess I really am not his friend”, I wondered.

Then, on Shabbos, another friend invited me to attend a Sheva Brachos for him.  I realized that I could be that special “new face” that wasn’t at the wedding.

It was so extra joyous for me join his sheva brachos, even if I missed the wedding.  

I told him, “I may not be your best friend.  I didn’t even know that you were engaged.  But I am a friend, and I’m so happy for you.”


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