Why I Want Infinity Children



Just after Devorah Leah was born a nurse asked me, “So how many children do you want to have”?

I don’t know what got into me, but I replied, “Infinity!"

It’s not that we haven’t heard of birth control.

Or that we have plans to have 13 or 20 children.

We just don’t think like that.

Our thought process is actually the complete opposite of what some consider standard.

One way of living life is that the default status of marriage is “no children”.

Depending on a “family plan”, a couple might temporarily change the default in order to “have children”.

Maybe one or two, or five or seven.

For us, it’s the opposite.

The default of being married is “yes children”.

And sometimes we have to temporarily change from the default to “no children”.

Our children have been the biggest blessing in our life.

And they have forced us to “operate at a higher level”.

There were times that we had to temporarily “say no” to G-d’s blessings.

But the knowledge that we were “rejecting” G-d’s blessing…

Pushed us to become better people, and figure out how we could become capable of “accepting more blessings”.

Some people make the mistake of having children when they shouldn’t.

And instead of working on themselves.

Raise dysfunctional families.

Others choose to permanently stop having children.

It reduces the pressure.

But it can be an easy way out of challenging the part of themselves that needs to be challenged most.

You know what I mean.

The right approach is to recognize children as the blessing they are.

And if at your current state, you don’t appreciate them as such.

Figure out how to “up your game” so you can.

If you need to take a temporary break, so be it.

But don’t use it as an excuse to not grow.

And stay selfish.

GROW. GROW. GROW.

And when your tolerance for more blessings builds, welcome them with open arms.

Our children have given us a fast track to wisdom.

They give us meaning.

They help us at home and at work.

And we attribute the material blessings in our lives to them.

We’re not embarking on this amazing project to build a beautiful community and campus despite having all these children.

It’s BECAUSE of them.

We are so blessed.

Kein Ayin Horah.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Can the Rebbe Work Miracles?

Image
  People say that the Rebbe can work miracles.  Is that true?  What did the Rebbe himself say about this? In the fall of 1959, a group of college students with the “Hillel” campus organization came for a group meeting with the Rebbe.  At a certain point, the floor was opened up for questions, and one student asked this very question: “Rebbe, people say that you can work miracles.  Is this true?” The Rebbe responded by asked the students what the word miracle means.  And he continue to explain:  The world has “nature” and “miracles”.  Nature is the way things happen naturally.  The world has “rules” and some of them are not so kind.  The strong survive and the weak perish.  Nature dictates that there are winners and losers, “live-ers” and “die-ers”. But a basic tenet of Judaism is that this physical world is the last of a series of many spiritual worlds.  And it’s like a puppet with strings attached from on top.  “Playing with the strings” in the higher worlds has real-life effects in t
Read more

The Rebbe is Alive

Image
  Gimmel Tammuz, which is the day the Rebbe passed away is a day of reflection and connection. I received a couple messages from people who were curious why I would fly across the country for less than 24 hours.  And then wait in line for hours to spend 30 seconds at a grave before being ushered out to let more people in. The Rebbe is alive.   So alive that even death can’t affect him. The Rebbe is not like other leaders who have passed away and left a “legacy”.  My Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Wagner was like that.  He was a special person, who gave a lot to the world, and left a tremendous legacy. Many effective leaders have done the same. The Rebbe is different. He is currently leading and guiding Chabad globally, and each individual Chossid specifically.   Who qualifies as a chossid? Anyone who accepts him as their “Rebbe”. The Rebbe is the “head” of the Jewish people, and we are the “feet” (or other body parts).   The head feels & controls the rest of the body.  In order for the body t
Read more

Should We Move To Texas?

Image
  I took a trip to Washington D.C. to visit my step-uncle and aunt and comfort them for the  loss of their daughters . Torah teaches that visiting mourners, especially in their home, is comforting to the mourners  and to the deceased. Indeed, the process of death is painful not only to the family of the deceased, but to the deceased themselves. The ability to do productive work, help people and do mitzvahs is only possible while alive in this physical world, and this is why death is painful (unlike what most people think, that death is the end of pain). We mourn  with  the dead over the lost opportunities to give light to the world. On the way back, I stopped in Dallas, TX for a day. It made $$ sense and gave me the opportunity to visit a couple good friends and supporters who have moved there. Here are some observations and reflections from the visit: Texas was very different than I expected. I wasn’t expecting the toll roads and traffic. Instead of Ford and Chevy pickup trucks, I was
Read more