Rabbi Abrams Blog

  A couple weeks ago, I met up with a friend who was with his family. During the visit, I observed the wife making sarcastic comments about her husband. He responded in kind, and the conversation continued. After the visit, I sent him a message, attempting to give him feedback and share my pain witnessing it.  His response was shocking. “Not even sure what you’re referring to”. My response was “ouch”. You see, here is the story of life: part of growing is experiencing pain. Our parents, teachers and others wronged us, sometimes willfully, but mostly out of ignorance.  To manage the pain, we numb ourselves. Some of us revert to negative behaviors, substances, gambling or porn. Others get heavily involved in work, religion or hobbies, all to dull the pain (many times without realizing). As we get married and have children, the pain increases, and we increase our numbness. To the point that we can’t even look back and remember a sarcastic exchange with our spouse. Of course,...

Do you ever get a cold? How about back pain? Do you like being ill?  Of course not! At least mostly. We don't talk about it much, but being sick has its benefits. You might get extra pampering, take it easy, relax, skip washing the dishes, mopping the floor, putting the kids to bed, and may even skip work! While 99% of me doesn’t like being sick, there is that quiet little 1% that is okay with being sick, even if I won’t admit it to anyone. The same is true for all problems that we have in life, like marriage, money, children, or moral and religious problems. Relationship problems are really just character flaws and blind spots which only become problematic once you're in a relationship or business. All these problems give the benefit of not being forced to work on our blind spots. If we can accept a sub-par relationships or financial situations, we won’t have to deal with our darkest sides! In other words, while all of our problems, called golus (exile) ar...

Tomorrow is the 25 year anniversary of the Rebbe's passing.  The reality that Chabad has grown exponentially since his passing is unlikely, and defied the world's predictions.  To this day, many people ask why no one has replaced the Rebbe.  The obvious answer is because no one can.  But if he was a such a special man, and now he's gone, how do you explain the trajectory?   Chabad is arguably the largest and most influential Jewish movement in the world, and it continues to grow without a leader? In my opinion, the first part of the answer is about the Rebbe himself.  On the one hand, while he has passed, he's not gone like virtually every other celebrity.  There may still be millions of Elvis Presley fans today, but Elvis is gone.  Contrast this to the 100,000 people who will be visiting the Rebbe's grave this weekend to pray and request blessings.  I am the Rebbe's employee, and I send a report every month of what I've d...