It's all about you

A fellow called me up last week and wanted to talk.  A couple months ago, he resigned from a very well paying job for ethical reasons.  Since then, he's been having a hard time getting hired again, and was starting to get angry at G-d.  Why should he be punished for doing the right thing?  He wanted to give G-d a chance, but didn't think that there was really anything that I could say to relieve him of this anger.  

It's really tough getting involved in emotionally charged dilemmas.  On the one hand, it's tempting to talk logic, but that is difficult to balance with true empathy for their hard times.  

After saying just that, I went on to explain the difference between "refining" and "tests."  Refining is what we spend most of our time doing.  Refining is another way to say "making the world a better place."  The useful things that we do in work refine the world, as do the mitzvahs that we do refine the world.  The purpose of "refining" is for the world, not necessarily for us.

Sometimes, however, G-d put's us in situations of tests.  A test is not about making the world a better place.  It's about making yourself a better person.  It's ironic, but as many good things we do at work, the focus is on the job, not on making yourself a better person.  The situations in life that allow us to work on ourselves as people are the hard times and tests.  

I told this fellow that his situation sounds like a test to me, and that by not giving up and regretting his correct choice, and forging on, he will make himself a better person and everything will turn out okay.  

"But when will it end?" he asked.  

I answered with the bible story of the man who was tested by G-d ten times: Abraham.  When G-d asked him to sacrifice his only son, he didn't blink an eye and got to work.  As he was climbing up the mountain with his son, the Satan disguised himself as a raging river, blocking their path.  His intention was to give Abraham an excuse to head back and give up.  

Instead, Abraham forged on, into the water.  He walked up to his ankles, his knees, chest, neck & mouth, but he didn't stop.  When the water reached his nose and he was on the verge of drowning, the river disappeared.  Chassidus explains that the Satan has the authority to make illusions for the purpose of testing us, but not to create real things.  While the river seemed real, it only was real until he passed the test.  Once it reached his nose, the test was over, and it disappeared.  The river had no purpose now, and it wasn't real.

When G-d gives us tests, we should stay focused on passing the test, and ignore the obstacles that try to distract us.

"But when do I pass the test?  I already gave up the job, and it's a couple months already!" he asked.

According to this logic, the answer must be that he didn't pass the test yet.  You see, we don't get to decide when we pass the test, and when we've adequately worked on ourselves as people.  Imaging Abraham calling out to G-d, "Come on G-d.  The water is already up to my waist!  Make the river disappear!"  It doesn't work like that.  The Satan's job is to test us and make the situation look dire.  Our job is to look at that guy in the mirror and march on happily.  When G-d decides that we passed the test, the river disappears, and everything works out better than we could have ever imagined. 

Shabbat Shalom, 

Rabbi Abrams