Can I Tell You About My Oatmeal Cookie?

 


Time is short, so let me tell you about the cookie last night.  Natanya has been doing a lot of catering the past couple weeks (check out jewishtemecula.com/catering) and we had some cookies come straight out of the oven. 

Of course I had to try them, but after one and then two, I realized that I could just keep going!

A whole slew of excuses started popping into my head.  "Come on! You have a lot going on now, and you're working so hard for Chabad, the community and your family.  You deserve to let go and indulge for just tonight."

But another voice popped up telling me, "Hey Yonasan.  You're feeling yourself gain weight and you need to stay in control."

I realized that indeed, I'm just sick of staying in control.

I managed to push the cookies away, but ten minutes later I picked another one up.  "This will be the last one". 

That's when it hit me that the only way I'll ever be in control is if I can master the moment.  Control is only in the moment.  As hard as it is to stay in control every moment, all day, it's even worse to not be in control.  That's how people become addicted and ruin their lives. 

The past is depression, the future is anxiety, and the present is peace.  Well, kind of.  To win the battle and stay in control in the present is really a war.  But it's more peaceful than avoiding the battle of reality while living in a fantasy.

It's not just cookies.  Gym, parenting, mental health, marriage, personal development, spirituality and making G-d real in our lives will never be peaceful.  The path for each of these is rewarding, but the battle of the moment is painful.  And I'm not sure if it ever gets easier.

The good news is, that I won the battle, didn't eat the cookie and the good feeling that I had, knowing that I was in control of myself for just a few minutes was worth it all.  And... it gave me something to share with you.

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