Accepting the Unacceptable




Yom Kippur is known as the "Day of Unconditional Acceptance," when G-d forgives & accepts us, but what do that actually mean?  Aren't there limits to how much we (or G-d) can accept?  Everything has limits, including acceptance!

Every once in a while, we read stories about someone who was in the dumps, and was uplifted by a teacher, friend, boss or "angel".  Many times, these are people who have failed, ended up in prison, or made other serious mistakes in life.  They recall being ignored because of their past failures, until some special person saw in them what no one else saw.  "It was that belief in me and unconditional acceptance that gave me the strength to achieve" is what they'll recall.  


Indeed, the nonbelievers had good reason to not believe and reject.  This person was a failure!  Judging by their actions, this person was "undeserving" of attention, a second chance, or a helping hand.  

This doesn't even have to be a prisoner.  We all know kids or people who just have a hard time.  Some people are blessed with a high IQ, people skills, business acumen, talent & common sense.  They are the succeeders in life, who are charismatic and fun to be around.  Then you'll meet the people who just have a "bad portion" in life.  They aren't as smart and aren't fun to be around. 

Parents also find this phenomenon with their children.  It's easy to gravitate towards and cater to the naturally gifted child, not out of favoritism, but because it's fulfilling to give to someone who accepts, appreciates and reciprocates our gestures.  They do well in school, are more helpful at home, get along with their siblings better.  They bring us pride.

To nurture the successful child is natural and easy, but it's the struggling child who needs it most!  It takes real work to find the good in the child who struggles in school, isn't helpful, gets on everyone's nerves and bring the parents "fear of being judged."  It's so easy to fall into a routine of nagging, sarcasm, losing patience and shunning, not because we don't love them, but because they're difficult!

There are special people in the world who can see beyond achievements and into a person's soul, see a beautiful person with great potential, and help raise that person up.

Can I be that parent who will make my own "underprivileged child"  feel valuable & celebrated, not just when and because they achieve, but because of who they are?  Can I find it within myself to celebrate a child unworthy of being celebrated? 

I don't know if I have the strength on my own, but on Yom Kippur, G-d teaches me how & gives me the strength, because that's exactly what He does for me.

Yom Kippur is the day when G-d forgives us, not because we have done well, or even "repented" sincerely.  G-d forgives us because He sees something in us that no one else sees.  It's a perfect & beautiful soul.  G-d believes in us, and can overlook our past mistakes and shortcomings because He sees in us what no one else sees. 

G-d accepts us for who we are, and not just for what we've done.

He's going to seal us for a good year, not based on virtue, and not based on "repentance."  He's going to seal us for a good year because of "us", and nothing else.  I hope in turn, I'll muster to strength to emulate G-d, and accept the people in my life who need it most.

Rabbi Yonasan & Natanya Abrams

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Can the Rebbe Work Miracles?

Image
  People say that the Rebbe can work miracles.  Is that true?  What did the Rebbe himself say about this? In the fall of 1959, a group of college students with the “Hillel” campus organization came for a group meeting with the Rebbe.  At a certain point, the floor was opened up for questions, and one student asked this very question: “Rebbe, people say that you can work miracles.  Is this true?” The Rebbe responded by asked the students what the word miracle means.  And he continue to explain:  The world has “nature” and “miracles”.  Nature is the way things happen naturally.  The world has “rules” and some of them are not so kind.  The strong survive and the weak perish.  Nature dictates that there are winners and losers, “live-ers” and “die-ers”. But a basic tenet of Judaism is that this physical world is the last of a series of many spiritual worlds.  And it’s like a puppet with strings attached from on top.  “Playing with the strings” in the higher worlds has real-life effects in t
Read more

The Rebbe is Alive

Image
  Gimmel Tammuz, which is the day the Rebbe passed away is a day of reflection and connection. I received a couple messages from people who were curious why I would fly across the country for less than 24 hours.  And then wait in line for hours to spend 30 seconds at a grave before being ushered out to let more people in. The Rebbe is alive.   So alive that even death can’t affect him. The Rebbe is not like other leaders who have passed away and left a “legacy”.  My Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Wagner was like that.  He was a special person, who gave a lot to the world, and left a tremendous legacy. Many effective leaders have done the same. The Rebbe is different. He is currently leading and guiding Chabad globally, and each individual Chossid specifically.   Who qualifies as a chossid? Anyone who accepts him as their “Rebbe”. The Rebbe is the “head” of the Jewish people, and we are the “feet” (or other body parts).   The head feels & controls the rest of the body.  In order for the body t
Read more

Should We Move To Texas?

Image
  I took a trip to Washington D.C. to visit my step-uncle and aunt and comfort them for the  loss of their daughters . Torah teaches that visiting mourners, especially in their home, is comforting to the mourners  and to the deceased. Indeed, the process of death is painful not only to the family of the deceased, but to the deceased themselves. The ability to do productive work, help people and do mitzvahs is only possible while alive in this physical world, and this is why death is painful (unlike what most people think, that death is the end of pain). We mourn  with  the dead over the lost opportunities to give light to the world. On the way back, I stopped in Dallas, TX for a day. It made $$ sense and gave me the opportunity to visit a couple good friends and supporters who have moved there. Here are some observations and reflections from the visit: Texas was very different than I expected. I wasn’t expecting the toll roads and traffic. Instead of Ford and Chevy pickup trucks, I was
Read more